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Bonafide Independent Superhero's Journal

Monday, April 18, 2005

7:11PM

Friends Only

Sunday, January 23, 2005

1:18PM

And yet another phone call for sake of the family.

My whole family, it seems, is a bunch of walking crazies.

My father lastnight decided to break down. My little brother was with him, also freaking out about the situation. He got a moment to call my sister, to let her know that my father was freaking out. He got on the phone with my sister and just began in with the, "I'm sorry's." Sorry for what? Thats all he would say to her until he asked her to come over. She didn't want to go over by herself, b/c she didn't know what she'd be walking into, so her husband went along. Got to the house, went inside and found my father at the kitchen table, playing with his knife. Emotionless, blank look, just looking at his knife. My sister flipped on him, and told him to put the fucking knife down a couple times before he actually did. He dropped it and began crying, and sputtering about how he was sorry for being a horrible father to his kids. My sister didn't know what to tell him, and my little brother was in the livingroom bawling. My father went on about how he was surprised that my sister still talks to him, and how surprised he is that Tom still talks to him, but wonders why I dont. "Why doesn't Kate ever want to talk to me? What did I do to her? I know she blocks me from online, I know she screens her calls when I call her. What did I do?"

I'll tell you what you did you son of bitch! Remember back to when I was 15? That fucking night from hell? The night you beat my mother in front of me, and threatened to hurt me if I picked up the phone? That night you wrapped your hands around her neck as I watched? The night you made her bleed from every whole in her face?? The night you banged her sweet head into the stairs and yelled at her like she could hear you as her ears were being used to grip your destruction?? Remember how you looked at me as I stood at the top of stairs yelling for you to let her up?? All I could hear was my mothers voice asking me for help, and I couldn't do a damn thing!!! I was 1ft away, and I couldn't do anything!!!!!!!!! My mothers screams and yells were horrifying for me...I didn't know what exactly your conclusion to all of that would be...I was fucking scared of you...more so than any other time ever. Somehow I got up the courgage to run out the back door and call the police from the neighbors house. Look what you made me do? I watched you get taken away from the property line. Seeing you in handcuffs was a relief for me...just seeing you leave was a relief for me....look at what I did? At that moment, I knew I had the power to get rid of you...I never knew I had that.
I got back to the house to see the finished product of what you had done to my mother. You hurt her bad you fucking cock sucker!!!!!
You lost a daughter that day, and I'm never going to let you forget that, b/c every time your mentioned to me, thats all I remember of you.
Now ask yourself again....."what did I do to her?"

He's at the hospital now, getting treatment. I guess he's gonna be there for a few days. My sister suggest I call him. I dont think so, especially not now.
I blame him for alot of the emotions I have towards things. I just have yet to correct them. In good time I guess.

Current mood: crushed

Sunday, January 9, 2005

11:23PM

OMFG!!!!!!! I cannot sleep!! I'm totally and utterly exhausted...I want to sleep, but this damn cough is not allowing me to. I've takin everything for it...the moment I lay down and start to doze off, I'm hawking up my lungs!!!! is there anything out there that can control my cough??????

GOD I HATE BEING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm going to lose it!!!

Of course with coughing, its making my nose run more, and....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to cry!!! I just want to go to sleep god damn you!!!!!!!!!

Current mood: drained

Friday, January 7, 2005

9:53AM

      
creativity is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Current mood: okay

Monday, January 3, 2005

3:05PM

I just found the most utterly disgusting site in the whole fucking world. And, me!, I had to explore it b/c you just can NOT explore a site like that...but fuck me!!!!! I was in shock the whole time I was there...My mouth wide open, my eyes huge...

If anyone wants to know the site, just ask...but I'm warning you now. The way I found it, is I was doing a google search for k9's...urgh!!! And we all know the kinds of things a google search can turn up...omg!


WARF!!!!!!!!

Current mood: discontent

Sunday, December 12, 2004

8:16PM

Whats does your personality rate from 1-10? by morning_prayer
Your first full name
Your personality rates a11
your best quality isyou can make anyone smile
your worst quality isyou need what you cant have
this is becauselifes a bitch
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Current mood: bored

Monday, December 6, 2004

6:26PM

calcutta streams from porchlights where
we opened up our party gifts and
you fell down the stairs on purpose
and you drive to europe in the rain
your hair's done up but no one's gonna see it
well maybe you should drive me home, home

what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around now

find out about the music
is the CD jammed or upside down
i'd really like to feel you with dinner
and we're sitting on a city bench
together in the tourist town
if the fashion ad were here
you'd be in it, in it

what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around now

The girl is cold and so is he
but hes still warm she's way too kind
when you walked in the morning after
looking good you know it
yeah, yeah, yeah

oohahh, i'm closing my eyes and
i'm spinning, spinning away away
well i don't know if i should stay but
what do i do when you say it's ok.
Listen to me, this is insane.

what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around

what could be so wonderful about this
what could be so wonderful
half light wakes you up the morning after
fall down with me and roll around
yeah yeah yeah yeah...
fall down with me and roll around, round . . .

Current mood: good

Thursday, September 23, 2004

9:25AM - Just another Quiz

I made a Quiz for you! Take my Quiz! and then Check out the Scoreboard!

Monday, September 20, 2004

6:11PM

Songs speak, when it seems I cannot move my lips.
I've brought myself back,
to the moments I remember to be glorious.
Warping myself forward to realities fucked up version of living, is this as good as it gets?
I'm starting to think so.
In the desperate search for ones self, it is usually found that we are nothing but simple, unaltered versions of the face we see every morning in our bathroom mirrors.
Prove me wrong?



"Somehow I have survived."

Current mood: blank

Thursday, September 16, 2004

6:12PM

The day so dragged!!! My feeties hurt!!!
I'm 98% done with the damn 950's. I'm figuring I'll have a total of 21 pallets by the time I thru tomorrow night. *sigh* This thing has been taking me forever. I started working on it almost 3weeks ago. We have a/c's up the ass!!! BUT, it shall be done, and transpo is calling me again when I get to work tomorrow. Yeah, then a week later, I'll get the Oct. 950's thrown at me..grrr!!

Laundry time, when Jenn gets home, how fun is that?
I just absolutely heart laundry.


Ok..I'm off like a dress on prom night. :)

Current mood: bored

Sunday, August 29, 2004

8:02PM - Just do it!!!

Fill this out in a comment, you know you want to!!! c'mon!!!


a) Your name:
b) Where/How did we meet:
c) How long have you known me:
d) How well do you know me:
e) Do I smoke:
f) Do I use narcotics:
g) When you 1st saw me what did you think:
h) My age:
i) My hair & eye color:
j) Have you ever had a crush on me:
k) What's one of my favorite things to do:
l) One of the first things I said to you:
m) What's my favorite type of music:
n) What's my best feature:
o) Am I shy or outgoing:
p) Would you say I'm funny:
q) Am I a rebel or do I follow the rules:
r) Any special talents I have:
s) Would you consider me a friend:
t) Have you ever seen me cry:
u) A good nickname for me would be:
v) Am I in love & w/who:
w) Why dont you come and visit me:
y) Do you find me annoying & why:
z) Say anything to me here:

Current mood: bored

Monday, July 19, 2004

7:06PM

the scar you're most proud ofThe one on my knee...I took it like a man!
your favourite condimentpepper
if you have freckles Hell yeah I do!
your preferred method of cookingnuke it baby.
what shoes you're wearingnone at the moment.
how many children you haveThats a huge ZERO!!!!
the first person you french kissedJodi Smith, in the first grade..lol.
your preferred breed of dogweener dog
where you were bornHanover, NH
what colour underwear you're wearingBlack
where your keys are right nowon the kitchen table
if you have split endsprobably, I dont know.
when you last got laiduh..a week ago.
your opinion on airline foodnever had it
what cosmetic surgery you would considertummy tuck
best kiddie playground equipment to have sex onthe twirly slide ;)
your worst maladymy laziness
if your mum loves your dadmy mum loves my step dad
if you can sing wellnot at all, but I dont let that stop me.
what your olympic event would beshotput
someone you admireT
which country would be hardest for you to locate on a mappretty much any of the "stanz"
the last time you cried2 weeks ago
your most interesting sexual congress locationthe bathroom at what used to be 'the bean gallery'
part of the Sunday papers you read firstThe Classifieds
the languages you speakenglish, and then theres Katinese :)
the religion you were raised innone
if you can draw wellthat I can do when inspired.
your favourite photographtheres one of Jenn, when we went to the gorge that I took. I think I did a good job with it ;)
what you should be doing instead of thisgoing to the atm, to activate my card, b/c I got stuck with no money today..argh!

Create a survey!

Current mood: bored

Tuesday, May 11, 2004

10:30PM

Well, I had a good day. For starters, I was late for work...again! lol. I was so pissed off at myself this morning b/c of it...but I'm good now. I had a pretty good day at work. It was actually fun working with Steve..he's so funny when he kids around, and actually lets himself be a kid..lol.

My shoulder is killing me from the on going reset we're working on. I can't lift my arm much past my neck..it kills. I need a much needed rub down ;) Oh Jenny!!! Put your PTA skills to use will ya!?

I am loved, and I love ya 2 Brown eyes!!!

I just got done burning 2 cd's for you. I really think you're gonna get bored with one of them...I'm so hooked on thinking that..lol. The other one is just a simple, random cd. Have fun with them..make me proud! lol.

Alright, I thought I could make it more so past 11, but I'm ready to pass right out. I gotta close tomorrow, yippee!! argh! After tomorrow night, I'm good to go til Monday. I can't wait for my weekend. :)

Aight! Night all!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Current mood: sleepy

Friday, May 7, 2004

5:21AM

woke up a little later than usual this morning....ha! What am I doing on here, you ask? I have just enough time to write a stupid little entry I guess.

I had some wierd ass dreams lastnight...well, I guess they're not wierd, its just strange b/c I've been having dreams with the same person in them for awhile now..lol. Everynight is a different scene, but same person. It was nice though, real nice.

Then as I got closer to the time where I wake up my dreams shifted towards work. I dreamt of pattets being boomed up with nothing on them..go figure!

Well, i gotta get goin..grrrr.

Current mood: calm

Friday, April 16, 2004

1:04PM

HAHA!!!

Street lamp! Give me a break..lol

ciao

Current mood: amused

Sunday, March 14, 2004

1:14PM

AH HA!!!
YOU CANT READ ME!!!

NOW GO FUCK OFF!!!

Current mood: amused

Sunday, February 22, 2004

1:33AM

3 times a charm..ha! Havent done that in awhile...what has come over me. *devilish grin* I'm tired now, but cant seem to sleep...I should be tired ;)

Spent the day doing nothing really with my baby..lol. Well, we painted the remains of the stair way. We may at some point go over a few areas again...looks like we didn't do that great of a job in those areas.
Was suppose to get a tat today, but stinky weather prohibited us from doing so...another day perhaps.

Tomorrow brings sleep once again...and of course the nonstop chore of laundry. Boo hoo.

Nothing more.

Current mood: tired

Wednesday, February 18, 2004

11:41PM

UGH!! My legs are going to lose all thier feeling, and fall off soon!!! OMG, they really hurt right now. I did alot of up and go things at work today, I dont think I sat down at all. OUCH!!!

I got together more of the 950's, and should be done with them tomorrow before I leave work. They go out friday night...I'm all set.

*sigh*
I'm beat...nothing exciting to say....so night all.

Current mood: sleepy

11:16AM

I slept right up until the alarm went off, I dont usually do that when I have be to work later in the day. Well, I did get to bed at 2 this morning, so its all good.

950's, 950's, 950's!!! Thats all today is about...can't wait! Yeah, who am I kidding.....it fucking sucks!

What a small world. This gyrl I've been talkin to for awhile now, lives in Warren and was telling me she was in my area lastnight at a friends house in Northfield. I asked some questions, and turns out she was at Toby's house, right across the lot here. I know Toby, b/c he is friends with Dawn and Tracey. Ha! What a kawinkiedink..lol.

I guess I should go finish getting ready for work....talk to you all tonight.

Current mood: blah

12:07AM

Wow! I've been browsing LJ's for the past 2hrs. I found one that I just couldnt keep my eyes from. It belongs to a FTM, named Diesel. He is fucking gorgous. Along with his lj, he has a website, omg! Its amazing. Reading it made me smile, drool, cry, and just sit with amazement. *sigh*

I should be in bed, but i'm not. I slept til almost noon today, so what do I expect?! I'm not too worried about it, b/c I have to close tomorrow...meaning I dont have to crawl out of bed til 1030am..ha! Oh well, three more days til have then weekend off. Sat is tattoo day, yay!

Ladeda!

Current mood: calm

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